the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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