we were pretty classy up until the second keg
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
