she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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