I CAN MOONWALK!
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
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