Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
And then my night got REAL pukey
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
