1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
