I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Let's paint friendship bongs
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
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