i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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