where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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