how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Randomize
