Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
