We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
