i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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