Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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