An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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