Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
