Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Randomize
