Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
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