the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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