oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Randomize
