Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
