I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Randomize
