For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
operation have a gay friend backfired
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize
