I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
