She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
