It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
