based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Randomize
