Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
