i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
NoShamevember. You game?
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Randomize
