what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
