conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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