Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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