just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
