they need to just BURY HIM!
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Randomize
