WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
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