honey bunches of taint.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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