When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Randomize
