you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I want a musical about memes.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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