come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
