a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Enjoy the penises
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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