genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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