so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
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