he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
