just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
