Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Randomize
