I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
