The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
