I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
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