Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Are we still banned from the library?
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
