I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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