His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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