Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
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